I woke blinded by the skylight.
Ravishing at night,
yet ablaze in the morning.
Bearing in mind, never get too comfortable.
My sleep frozen face melted as I awoke exhausted,
wrapped in silk, lace, and egyptian cotton.
The day arrived,
although it never really was.
Four arms and four legs kettled by sheets and sweat.
‘Do you trust me?’
Smiling at his noncore question.
I wink and whisper ‘It’ll always be this way.’
Such a magnificent face puts me at ease.
Moment to moment,
more enchanted by the sound of his voice.
His hand swallowed mine,
as he led me out of the cabana.
Trees waved hello to us.
Giggling and whispering.
Tropical birds chirped mystical songs,
they know it too.
Supplying the soundtrack to our emotions.
He stood by the beach.
I watched the sunset over his shoulder.
My feelings deeper than
the silky black sand on the shore.
Mister glisters. Love has arrived.
I’ve waited to dream this dream.
Excitement erupted into anticipation.
I try not blink as he informs me,
‘I’ve been thinkin bout you’
‘Me?’ I question.
Private fantasies of my mine.
Running through my mind.
Simple words are the most intricate.
‘Wanna get in?’ He smiles.
Making me crazy.
A gust of wind blows black sand into my eyes.
I put my hand up in defense of my vision.
He releases the other to roam the world alone.
NO! NO! NO!
Is that it?
Balancing between a dream and a nightmare
I snatch a scrap of reality.
With a Jackie O grip
I grasp the memory of the moments we shared.
I fought my fears attempting to wake up!
To rise! To come alive!
To live! To be!
All efforts to no avail.
All that I’ve loved and feared is near.
Alone in the shade of brown eyelids,
I feel hopelessly for his presence.
I wade forward into the water.
Cool water reassures me I’m real.
I instinctively dismiss my resentment,
in hopes of a brighter dream.
Rejecting the notion of a nightmare.
Bullied by waves,
The sound of the sea calms me.
Sparring the urge to wake,
I float on.
For what feels like eternities.
With the will of all lovers
across the world I prayed.
Man can’t pause prayer.
In desperate need of nutrients and affection,
with no where else to float to,
I forced my eyes open.
Rendered sightless by the sun,
dry heat held me like a hoodie.
Sounds of water replaced by hot wind.
I shield my view finders again.
A familiar sweaty stranger stepped into my light.
He reeked of beer and cigarettes.
Instinctively I pull glasses from my front pocket,
assured and surprised at their presence.
Sense of sight is mine again.
He looks lonely.
Hissing, ‘where’s the food?’
I wipe my hands on my apron and get to work.
Chopping, cutting, stirring.
Stirring. Stirring. Stirring.
Plating the meal I spot him out the window.
Tinkering with a model T,
I reminisce on the serenity
of my dream deferred.
I wrestle a tear back into it’s duck.
He’s back. He’s hungry.
I sit at the table and wait.
He grabs his plate and heads to the couch.
‘Bitch I told you no onions!’
I close my eyes as he turns up the radio.
Day graduates into a quiet country night.
Snakes and cicadas shake relentlessly.
My mind meanders to escape reality.
With nothing left to lose I inquire,
‘Why are you so fucking mean?’
The silence is deafening.
Interrupted by the back of his cold hard hand
greeting my cheek and eye like old friends.
My heart and spirit sunk.
As if they never knew,
or were never aware of anything special.
I wonder if love ever lived in his house?
I wipe my sweaty hands on the dirty apron.
Shaking my head at the emotionally bankrupt man,
so cold he wouldn’t weep at his own wedding.
Knowing love makes it’s absence substantial.
A dream and nightmare differ only by,
the amount of effort put forth to wake the F up.